Archive for the ‘Married Life’ Category

Naughty, naughty me.  I’ve totally neglected my blogs but for good reason.  We’ve had a rollercoaster few weeks and I’m still holding my breath that nothing more happens (besides some good luck).  With my mom and I being in hospital, to having so many friends and family here from overseas and then my car being stolen it’s just been crazy.

I am however now officially Mrz Style and so proud to be!  We made it official on Saturday 29th August at Ingwenya Country Estate.  For some reason I was completely calm on the day, although admittedly when I saw the white chairs laid out so beautifully in the garden my stomach turned.  I pulled myself together as best I could and thought to myself “there is no point getting worked up and nervous as you don’t want to waste the day on worrying about things that you cannot fully control”.  I totally relaxed after that (with the help of Rescue Remedy and champagne which I highly recommend!) and just enjoyed getting ready and being pampered.  The hairstylist and makeup artist said I was probably the most calm bride they’d ever come across so I knew the pills (and champagne) were paying off. 

The honeymoon suite was above the ceremony so I had the advantage of watching everyone arrive and watch how nervous Mr Style was getting.  When it was time to put on my dress and get going I finally gave in to the nerves.  I literally thought I was going to hyperventilate.  I had the added worry that Baby Style, who is 3 and was walking me down the aisle, wouldn’t go through with it and would run the other way!  I however had someone very close to me in the family on standby to take over should Baby Style do this.  As my stunning bridesmaids walked ahead I waited a while, prepping Baby Style on what we had to do.  Needless to say my little boy pulled through for me.  He held my hand, even slowed down so I could walk properly and on seeing us Mr Style could not hold back his tears so I just kept looking down so I didn’t break down.

I can truly say that the minute I took Mr Style’s hand I was ok.  It all felt right and I kept telling myself that if things didn’t go 100% right on this day, would it be such a huge deal?  We were all there for the best reason ever and whatever happened, wrong or right, would give it even more character and give us lots to talk about later!  These are pics taken by our brother-in-law but I’ll be sure to post more from the photographer when we get them.

There is so much that I learnt from planning my own wedding and now actually having been through it.  I will dedicate that though to a seperate blog as I’d love this one to just be about the big day.

Times are tough, right? Belts are tightening and saving a few rands here, can mean a few rands spent there instead…

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What I didn’t mention in my last post is that while we were getting ready, ominous clouds were gathering overhead. Dun dun dun. I kept my cool; in fact, I was quite pleased to see them because it was a scorcher of a day and we needed some cool relief, and besides, stormclouds make for awesome pictures! That is, if it doesn’t rain. Actually, even a light drizzle I could have come to terms with, the sort where you can get cute “kissing under the umbrella” pics. Just no storms that make it impossible to be outside, or, worse, impossible for anyone to hear our vows!

I was thinking all this and more while I was getting my makeup done, because that is when I first heard the unwelcome sound of thunder, and the even more unwelcome sound of rainfall. Not downpour heavy, but heavy enough to hear. Which, to my mind, was too heavy. I immediately picked up my phone and sent an sms (text message) to Mr Honeysuckle, who was getting ready with his guys in a room far, far away. Now I had not, of course, seen or spoken to Mr HS since he left home the night before, and I wasn’t sure if actually phoning him would be breaking the “not seeing each other before the wedding” pact. He, of course, had no such qualms, and immediately called me back to calm me down. (My text had read something innocuous like, “It’s raining!! OMG.” but I imagine he thought I was freaking out a bit more than I really was.) Actually I think I was surprisingly calm. At any rate, it was very sweet of him to allay my fears. Tanja’s second shooter, Natasha, was with the guys at this time, and she got some shots of Mr HS talking to me on his phone:

I wasn’t here for this (obviously, so I can’t give a running commentary, but here are some shots I liked. Yes, we’re segueing into the “Men getting ready” segment! So seamless.

Here’s Mr Honeysuckle practising his speech, while in the foreground are a groomsman bout and the wine for our chocolate & wine ceremony (more on that later). I have to wonder, though, if the guys were taking surreptious slugs of it to calm their pre-wedding jitters. :-)

And the good old standard “what time is it?” shot:

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While I was getting all prettied up, Tanja busied herself taking some photos of the wedding paraphernalia. Now I hadn’t wanted to go too overboard with the list of “must-take” shots, because it felt a bit pushy, and I am not pushy *at all*. Do I want people coming into my work telling me how to do my job? No. So I felt I shouldn’t get too carried away with the lists; I didn’t want it to come off as me telling Tanja how to do her job. But actually, though, now that it’s over, I wish I had added more items to that list. There were lots of little things that I either forgot about, or thought, “well, surely she’ll get that shot”, but in the end they didn’t happen. And some of my very favourite photos are the ones based on items from my list. I suppose it all depends on the photographer, but sound yours out, brides-to-be, and if he/she seems amenable, make a list of everything you can think of!

One of the shots I did absolutely insist on was the hanging dress. You might remember how much I love those! And I also mentioned a bunch of times that I like shots taken from below. This is my favourite of the dress shots. I liked it so much I made it sepia, black & white, faded colour, softened, sharpened; you name it, I did it! I think this classic black & white looks best, though.

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Tell me, tell me, tell me Oh, who wrote the book of love?I’ver got to know the answer:Was it someone form above? – The Monotones

Love is vast and undefined. Love is relative.

When two people fall in love unexplained happens and the world and all its complexities cease to exist. There is only one person that matters. Love fills our souls with hope and ideals. Love makes us want to be better, to do good things. Love is a gift which comes once in a life time and asks only to be cherished and handled with care.

Love is made up of many stages and at each stage it manifests iteself differently.

Yet at every stage, love promises greatness. And if we are open to it, it will provide fulfillment and joy beoynd our imagination. This means being unselfish with your emotions and feelings. So many people are afraid of giving up all that they have to another person for the fear or getting back less, or being hurt. Love does not hurt, and love gives back. Love can only be mutual, there is no other way. If both people love each other and put the their parnter’s needs first, forgetting their own selfish desires, only greatness can come from such relationship.

This is not to ignore the fact that trials will come. The people in love will have to overcome obstacles along the way. Their relationship will grow through hard times. Yet, it is the presence of love that will pull them through.

When we master the ability to love another person unconditionally, without any regard for what we receive, the ultimate paradox occurs: We will receive everything! The ultimate irony of life is that when we give unconditionally, we get it all unconditionally.

True love is a reward at the end of this journey. It has to be earned, discovered and worked for. This is a gradual process that happens over years, circumstances and every day life.

Let’s be honest ladies. In most cases there are two mothers involved in helping you plan your wedding – your own and your mother-in-law to be. Ever hear that three’s a crowd?

I found some great advice here on how to keep the peace during wedding preparations, and a little more here on how to deal with in-laws after the big day. I’m going to have to put a lot of this into practise with my own families since I find myself between two very different ladies!
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Money and marriage can be a sticking point for many couples. But, finding a system for managing money that works for both individuals can help couples achieve financial harmony.

The more you discuss how and why you each spend money, the deeper and stronger your relationship will grow.

“Figuring out a fair and comfortable way to share responsibilities and expenses can be challenging,” said Sam Goller, author of Yes, You Can… Achieve Financial Harmony and contributor to YesYouCanOnline.info. “But it’s essential for a healthy relationship. Couples should work together to decide what type of financial system allows them to achieve their dreams.” Read the rest of this entry »