So, this week I had the most horrible experience with a web designer whose services I enlisted to give my existing website a facelift. The results were not acceptable to me, and after 2 attempts to correct the the mishaps, I had to hire somebody else.
This experience reminded me yet again about the way our minds work. We are all very different and perceive things differently. Our thought patterns, our visions are different. It is not to say that one is better or worse, but just different. It is in respecting this very basic principle that a lot of understanding and great results can come about.
Often, the hardest thing I have to do with a client is to make her/him understand that in order for the grand vision to materialise, it is imperative to be specific in communicating the grand vision. I am not a mind reader. When I meet a bride for the first time and ask her about her vision for her wedding and the answer is ‘I don’t know’ - I do not believe that. We all have ‘visions’.
However, nothing is worse than a bride that has been planning her wedding for 10 months and with only 2 months to go hires a wedding planner. When I ask her about her vision (assuming that in 10 months she has come up with one) and her the proud… “it’s all in my head” kind of reply - I just want to scream.
The professionals in this industry are not mind readers, but we do want to make brides happy. We all want is to make our brides happy! Our biggest frustrations arise from the lack of communication. We are expected to create a ‘vision’ without given any information. One bride ( I ended up turning her down) would not even share her vision for the fear of me stealing her ideas and profiting from it. She really did want to have one of a kind wedding.
Communication is important. Do not assume that your service provider ’sees’ the same picture as you do. Our minds are incredibly creative, but also very diverse. Your ‘picture perfect’ in your mind might not correspond with theirs. Find pictures, and if you came up with something yourself… draw it… Yes, take a pencil and a paper and draw it! Together with your service provider you will be able to come up with something totally unique and incredibly personal! For exampe, when you meet with your florist make sure to take pictures before your appointment. The florist will have great suggestions how to modify flower arrangements once he/she ’sees what direction you want to be heading. At the mock-up… speak up… voice your opinions and make suggestions… don’t be wishy-washy… this your wedding we are talking about!
Be specific and direct- want results. And if you are shy and have difficulties voicing your concerned - don’t be. You are paying for a service (be it decor, make-up, hair, etc), and you want the best results. I can assure you that people will listen. Especially when you provide constructive criticism… so instead of “I don’t like it”or “I don’t think this works”… rather focus on the changes that can be made. Be specific!
And if it still doesn’t work, then find another service provider. Someone who will share your vision!
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Good post! I find the only way I can decide what I want is to browse every wedding-related site I can find, and take elements from there. Say “I like those flowers, but they shouldn’t have that greenery there” or “I like the look, but the colours are wrong”…that kind of thing. This is why I spend so much time on wedding sites - to refine my own vision!
That girl who wouldn’t tell you her vision was pretty stupid, though - what’s the point of hiring a planner or coordinator if they can’t DO anything because you won’t let them?
Thanks for the great post Mrz Splendid - as always your posts are very informative. I do think that you should have at least a vision not jut expect your planner to somehow extract it all from your mind.
Thank you :)
The ‘vision’ is often a frustarting bit. There is also so much beautiful stuff out there that confusion may settle, followed by second guessing the initial choices. I always encourage the brides to be very wary of those feelings, as it does nothing to reduce the stress. This is why theme setting is CRUCIAL at the inital stages… make all your choices and rest assured… it is sill to leave the decor until the last moment and even on the day of the wedding still wonder if you made the right choice ( it does happen)
I actually find it very interesting, because there are behavioural and thought processing patterns that can be identified when a bride chooses her decor… maybe i should write about that ;)
hope everyone ad a fab weekend btw