Is this really how much weddings cost??

June 9, 2008 | Posted by Mizz Sunflower

So upon getting engaged my fiancé and I sat down with my parents and had “the wedding talk”. We basically discussed what type of wedding we wanted, when we wanted the wedding and where. What was awkwardly spoken around was the money. I didn’t want to ask my parents for money, but in reality I could not afford a wedding on what we were earning.

My parents started talking and they implied they were paying. Once again, I really didn’t want to push it but finally I had to ask the question: “So what is the budget for our wedding”. This is where things got dicey. My parents ummm and ahhh, being their first of three daughters getting married they were in for the long haul when it came to weddings and they couldn’t give one more than the others. So they simply couldn’t come up with an answer.

A month later when I went down to see them again they told me that they were settling on R50 000. I though this was very generous and thought I would come in way under budget as both my mother and myself are quite handy and would do most of the stuff ourselves.

The next day off we went to our preferred venue and booked it, paid our deposit and put ourselves at ease that we at least had a place to get married that was reasonably priced. The next time we went to the venue the story had changed, things had gone up- dramatically. The somewhat informal luncheon that we planned was turning into a money eater of note and we had no idea how to stop it.

Slowly but sure the budget is being increase but every staggering quote, every “additional cost”, and every exclusion by our various suppliers. I am left wondering, when is enough enough?

Comments

6 Comments so far

Wendz on June 9, 2008 12:57 pm
I have the same situation, with my parents and the budget.

I am the last of three daughters to tie the knot and for the other two sisters my parents only contributed a minimal amount. Now, I am facing a wedding that will cost R100 000 (!!!!!!!) and my fiance and I are left to bear the bulk of this on our own.

While I know my parents will give us (some) money, I cant expect them, a year or so away from retirement age, to cough up R50 000. I personally, dont want to put that kind of pressure on them, knowing that come 12 - 18 months, they will be on pension. Instead of raising this issue and discussing it in a civilised manner, we have both skirted around the issue and now I dont know where I stand with them!
Lynx on June 9, 2008 1:18 pm
R50 000 sounds like a lot, but in reality, for a wedding it’s average. Our budget started at R30 000. Since I only have a mom left, we are paying for our own wedding. We started saving December last year. But the more we planned the more the budget was stretched. Today, 19 days before our big day, the expenses is more to the effect of R60 000. Our goal was to pay for our dream wedding and not be left with debt…nice dream…though I am very proud of us, cause we saved up almost enough, we had to make peace with the fact that we’ll be R2 000 in debt whe we come back from honeymoon. Not to bad I suppose, after all, we are getting our dream wedding, without any cutbacks or compromises.
Mrz Splendid on June 9, 2008 1:27 pm
Dear Sunflower,
the wedding budget is a very difficult subject. Wedding do cost a lot of money and its all on “cash” thank you very much basis.
You sound like you will be willing to put the time and the effort into the wedding, so that is a huge bonus!
You didnt mention how many guests you are expecting.
This is why it isvery important to be very careful about your service providers and their contracts. You have to know excatly what the costs are and if there is another alternative. Please bear in mind that MANY amazing providers are not advertising and do not necessarily belong to the wedding industry.
You may have a budget, but look at it as a way of becoming more creative ;)

I also do not know when us your wedding… perhaps you and your fiancee can set up a wedding bank account and basically ’save’ for your wedding each month. Then negotiate the payment dates with the service providers… R7000 upfron hurts, but R1000 installments over a period of time may seem a bit better. ALso, DO NOT feel ashemed to ask for a discount… or a special offer… NEGOTIATE…

if you need any more help you can email us on info@splendidaffairs.co.za
Mizz Honeysuckle on June 9, 2008 2:28 pm
I know how you feel! My parents are retired and have very little money, so when they said they could contribute R10 000 I was more than happy! I don’t expect anything more from them at all. I’m just annoyed that despite me making every thing I can think of to cut costs (ALL the stationery, etc) it’s still racking up! Suddenly we’re looking at over R70 000 and I don’t know how!
Mrz Queen bee on June 9, 2008 3:20 pm
We also paid for the bulk of our wedding with a bit of help from both sets of parents - it was their wedding gift to us. We also started on a small budget, and it got blown right open that Im actually too scared to actaully work it all out.

For this reason, we asked for money instead of gifts, we dont need all that extra stuff (as we have most of it), but we needed the cash.

I think its very easy to go over the budget, beucase you keep saying “well its only once, what the heck”… and before you know it you’re broke! We decided early on that we would spend a lot of 2 things, 1) my dress and 2) the photographer. Everything else, I managed to get what I wanted and not go too overboards. Remember to set your own bounderies, its very easy to break past them and say “oh well it only happens once” :)

Good luck, work on your budget and stick to it as much as possible :)
Mizz Honeysuckle on June 9, 2008 6:06 pm
And the honeymoon is a whooole other thing that I’m not even including in the budget. Yikes. I just don’t understand how it racks up. So unfair, when I’m trying so hard! :-)

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