I can’t be the only one who feels a bit confused by this! As far as I always knew, the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses (or, at least, whoever is paying for the wedding does!) and it’s up to the bride if she wants to pay for their hair and make-up as well. Now, planning my own wedding, all the info out there tells me that the girls have to pay for ALL their own stuff! That seems a bit unfair, surely?
It’s your wedding, why should your friends/sisters/cousins/former roommate have to fork out hundreds or thousands of rands for stuff they’ll probably never use again? It just seems a bit…stingy.
In the US, it seems to be completely normal and accepted to let the bridesmaids pay their own way. All the etiquette articles and books and magazines say this. But I’m paying for my two girls. My sister paid for my dress when I was bridesmaid at her wedding; I think she’d be pretty miffed if I didn’t do the same! Anywat, it just feels right. What do you think? What did you/are you going to do?
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Hi there,
I hear where you coming from. I got married 2 months ago, and had 2 bridesmaids (thank goodness only 2). I felt it only right that i pay for their dresses which is the bulk of the cost and asked them to pay for hair, which was R140. I was on a tight budget but figured it wasnt too much to ask.
I agree that you should pay for it, especially if its some design you want and not them. But weddings are very expensive and some people just cant afford the added expense.
With my bridesmaid, initially I going to pay for her accommodation for the night before the wedding which was R450.00 and also for the fabric of the dress which came to another R200.00. However, in the end I paid for the dress and she sorted out her own accommodation which worked out much better and she wore what I wanted her to wear.
Paying for the accommodation, and the dress was just too much, but it would have been nice to do both.
Morning! I paid for my girls dresses, I thought it was only fair. But it does start to get expensive. I got a friend to do the hair and my sister to do the make up for them though, saved big time there.
My girls did pay for their own shoes though.
Yes my girls are getting their own shoes, and I’m going to get them a necklace each as a gift. Make-up is being done by a friend but I have to pay for hair…I wonder if I should hint that they should pay for that, or if I should just pay for it - since it is for MY wedding, after all?
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, its like a gift to you. That is why we decided on a dress that they can wear in future.
I was thinking about this the other day and I realised something that is often overlooked.
Like you said, the norm these days seems to be that bridesmaids pay their own way, whereas tradition says that the bride should pay. A lot of couples these days pay for thier own wedding and not thier parents, which makes the expenses really difficult to handle at first, considering most are only starting out and have expenses such as buying a house and building a life to worry about.
If you want, another idea to help cut costs, is why not rent your bridesmaids dresses? The guys do it for the suits, and Im sure if you find a great place to rent from you’ll get a great outfit.
Glamour in durban, has really nice evening outfits for around R200 - R500 to rent and they are really pretty and look smart and elegant.
Hello There!
I am getting married on May 23, 2009. I do live in the U.S. and have not heard of any bride/bride’s family paying for the bridesmaid dresses. I think there are a couple of factors behind your question. One factor being that it depends on the level of “tradition” you are adhering to. Traditionally, the bride’s parents (who usually fund the wedding) pay for the bridesmaids; however, it is becoming so common for the bride and groom to pay for their own wedding or pay for a large potion of it, and thus it is becoming more common for the bridesmaids to pay their way. The way I have always thought of it when I have been a bridesmaid is that by accpeting the role of a bridesmaid, it is essentially saying that you are “honored” to be by the bride’s side at her wedding, and it is almost like your gift to the bride. Thus, buying their dress, is part of this “gift” of being a bridesmaid.
Secondly, it depends a lot on how many bridesmaids you are having. For instance, I have 5 sisters, and 2 soon-to-be sister in laws. They are all standing up in my wedding (which my fiance and I are paying a large portion of). So, for me paying for 7 bridesmaid dresses is A LOT. I am, however, planning on paying for their hair, makeup, and jewelry.
Luckily I only have 1 bridesmaid, I’m paying for her dress, make-up and hair. I asked my bridesmaid to buy her own shoes and jewelry….but being a bit of a control freak, I already looked around for nice shoes and jewelry for her…..which I most propably will buy if I see something I like.
I agree with it not being their wedding in all but im having all my bridesmaid buy their dresses but its going to be summer dresses that they can wear whenever they want in the summers to still come. However I am paying to get their hair done.
i feea bit rude asking for the bridesmaids to pay. but ost of them are my famnily so i will be paying for them and the three older bridesmaids have to pay for themselves. At the end of the day, they know from the start that they have to pay. so they can opt out if they want. plus i’m buying them really nice gifts.
Who would have thought you would get a comment all the way from Zimbabwe???Coming from an economy with a cash crisis,the bride foots the bill for her bridesmaids,yes it is possible and its only fair.Ones wedding should be a happy day,you do not need gloomy looking bridesmaids,thinking of unneccessary credits they have to pay..believe me cash is a nightmare around here.
I think everyone needs to realize that 99.8% of the time bridesmaids dresses will never be worn again by the bridesmaids. Unless you and your friends have the exact same taste in clothes (not likely) they are probably just agreeing with you and saying they like what you like to make you happy and to be good friends. So no matter how cute and re-wearable you think those dresses are, most likely they’re hitting the goodwill pile the very next day.
I think that it is great if you can afford to buy the dresses for your bridesmaids but if you can’t, they shouldn’t expect you to.